I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
