You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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