Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it's great music for shaving your balls
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
