Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
