I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
