dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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