After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
