If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
