6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
