Im at strip club and am horny
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
