Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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