You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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