covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
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oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
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Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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