And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
