She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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