My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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