I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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