I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
