I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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