thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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