I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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