o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
