I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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