that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
