Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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