if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I didn't shave. On purpose
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
