I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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