Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize