I want to stick my p in your. b.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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