OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
