I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you win again, gameday.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
