I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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