I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
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