just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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