If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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