Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
