i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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