I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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