you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
