somebody snuck up and got me drunk
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
