her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
