Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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