He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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