and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
