I'm lost and stupid without you.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I've blown a few things in my day
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
