That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
