I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
