But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
