im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
