I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize