i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
