I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
