Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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