idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
