Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My vagina is officially offended.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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