I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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