I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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