R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
