My cat gives me a boner
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
