She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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