shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
