Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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