): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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