it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize