overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
