What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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