We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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